You’re at your favorite hang out with the guys. All of you made the mad dash home after work, spruced up as quickly as you could, and met one another at the watering hole to catch the last part of Happy Hour. It’s a Friday night so the place is a bit more crowded and a bit noisier than usual. The evening progresses nicely, the jukebox is being fed plenty of dollars and good music is playing, and then WHAM!!! In walks the most beautiful woman you have ever laid eyes on in years. And you wonder where she has been all your life.
Well, for the last four hours or so, she was at home showering, then standing in front of her full length mirror making sure she was wearing the most magnetic dress she had in her closet, and then finally sitting down in front of her vanity mirror for an hour or so making up her face and styling her hair to look stunningly flawless. Here’s the rub. She was already drop-dead-gorgeous, so why on earth did she go through all this trouble?
Simply stated, to attract the right guy with as little competition as possible. She was increasing her odds by maximizing her strengths to attract the right man. And yes, I am totally serious. Millions of women go through this ritual every time they go out for an evening with the idea of finding a man as their priority.
Moving right along, we have come to that part in the discussion that will tell you why the above is such valuable information. Deep within everyone’s psychological core are the commonly joined principles of approval and attraction. The amount of approval a person feels is based solely on the amount of attention they receive. And most women have that little subconscious ‘They-like-me/they-don’t-like-me’ meter turned on when they enter a social setting.
But be careful Luke Skywalker. That disturbance in the force is coming from the Dark Side of this facet. Just like other emotions and feelings that trigger the brain’s potentially addictive chemicals, nothing can turn more addictive than the interaction that occurs between approval and attention. But the truly interesting thing about what happens to a woman when she becomes attracted to you, is that she loses the ability to control that attraction, and then the entire situation. She wasn’t even remotely thinking about you and then suddenly, it just jumped up and bit her right in the sitting-oriented part of her anatomy.
I can’t emphasize this enough, but if you are interacting with this beauty that spent all that time preparing for the evening, elaborating on her beauty and how overwhelmed you are with it is exactly what you want to avoid. Why? Because it will shift that control over to her, empowering her in the process, and she will saunter on to the next opportunity leaving you adrift in the wind like the leaf in the beginning and the end of the movie, Forrest Gump.
When she has lost the control by virtue of that attraction factor, she becomes the pursuer and you become the pursued. Once this has happened, and you don’t let your ego destroy what you set out to accomplish. Keep her interested, keep her entertained, but most of all give her what she wanted when she first walked in the place — approval and the confidence of knowing that she has found ‘the right guy’ to be with.
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