There are times when your parents may not be the easiest people in the world to talk with, and it is even worse if the subject of the conversation is something that you know will be upsetting. The important thing to remember is that if you are a pregnant teen, your parents are the people who are in the best position to help you handle your pregnancy and make a responsible decision.
But how do you break the news?
Choose a time when you will have complete privacy with your parents, as well as their attention. Tell them that you have to talk to them about a serious matter (pregnancy) and ask them if they will not interrupt you until you have finished.
From the first word you utter, be completely honest with your parents. Tell them exactly what your problem is and ask them for their help. Your parents love you and after the initial shock and hurt; they will want to be there to support you through your teen pregnancy.
Start the conversation with a maturity that you will need from now on. You are in a tough situation and facing it in a grown up way will make the road a little less rocky. Avoid arguing and sarcasm; remember that you will have to expect some anger from your parents, but at this time in your life, they could be the best friends you could have at this time in your life.
After the first shock waves have faded; talk with your parents about how you will handle your pregnancy. If you have decided to keep your baby and your parents agree to continue to let you live at home, what new rules will be involved?
It must be understood that if a young teen mother decides to live with her parents and keep her baby, it is very important that all parties involved including grandparents know that the responsibility and care for that child lays with you the teen mother. Things could end up very messy later on if a line is not drawn.
If adoption is what you have in mind, ask your parents for their full support in the adoption decision. After thinking the situation through, they will most likely be very supportive in whatever decision you have made.
Remember, your parents will very likely be pretty upset by this news; they love you very deeply and they probably had dreams for you that a teen pregnancy would likely put an end to. All parents want their children to be successful and happy and having a child at a young age tends to make achieving success a much more difficult accomplishment.
This will be at the root of their anger, but hang in there because that same love that is spurring that anger will win out and they will very likely want to stand by you through your pregnancy and potential adoption if that is your decision.
Mardie Caldwell, C.O.A.P. is a Certified Open Adoption Practitioner, an award winning author of 2 adoption books Adopting Online and Adoption: Your Step-by-Step Guide. Mardie is also the talk show host of Let’s Talk Adoption.com with Mardie Caldwell and the founder of Lifetime Adoption in 1986. She travels and speaks nationwide on adoption topics, family topics, infertility and writing. She has been quoted in and consulted for Parenting and Adoption magazines and has appeared on CNN, CBS, ABC, BBC, NBC, and Fox. Featured in Parade Magazine, Caldwell is an adoptive mother living in Northern California.
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