Parenting is a complex activity that includes many specific behaviors that work individually and together to influence child outcomes. Parenting is the process of raising and educating a child from birth until adulthood. Every parent has their own view on what their parental duties. Generally, the majority of parents admit that those duties are to provide for the basic needs of a child, whereas parents not only fulfill children’s basic needs but also develop their personality and mold them into unique individual which gives them identity. We have seen around so many children who are anxious, angry, aggressive, and have low self-esteem. On the other hand some children are confident calm and cool. There are identified three styles that parents used with their children: Authoritative, authoritarian, and permissive. . Each parenting style has different level of demands and responses and the resulting child is different for each style.
Researches have shown that authoritative parents balance demandingness and responsiveness with higher competencies in children. Authoritative parent’s style is also termed democratic because though the parents set firm rules and have clear expectations, they allow discussion and promote independence in the child. Using this style parents encourage discussion and debates with their child. These parents are warm and supportive. Moreover they respond to their children’s need and wises. They believe in paternal control and they explain their children the reason for control. They also try to have their children to understand that both parents and children have rights. These parents also try to maintain a balance between individual rights and good socialization. These parents are assertive, but not intrusive and restrictive. Their disciplinary methods are supportive, rather than punitive. Moreover their children are assertive as well as socially responsible, and self regulated as well as cooperative. According to Jennifer & Horbury (2001) “The children of authoritative parent’s process greater competence in early peer relationship, engage in low level of drug use as adolescent, and have more emotional well being as young adult”. If we look around the children of authoritative parents are socially competent, stronger academic performance, high self esteem, successful, articulate, assertive, energetic, friendly and cheerful. These children are not afraid of failure and are willing to meet challenges. Theses children are liked by teachers and peers, especially in culture where individual initiative is valued. This is the most recommended style of parenting by child-rearing experts.
Authoritarian parenting is highly demanding but is not responsive. Expression of love or affection is limited or even absent. People who believe in aauthoritarian parenting are usually very conscious about status and particular about discipline. They expect their order to be obeyed without any explanation being given. Moreover they do not give to their children the opportunity to learn from their errors. Their homes are always maintained in highly orderly manners and everything has to function with clockwork precision according to their rules. They also expect their children to accept their values, decisions, judgments and goals entirely and unquestioningly. They set absolute standards for shaping, evaluating and controlling the behaviors and attitudes of their adolescent children. Their children have no privacy or say in any matter. The parent tends to be highly intrusive and autocratic. They use weapons like withdrawal of love, shaming, and making the child feel guilty, to get their child to behave appropriately and obey parental rules. Children may perform reasonably well at school and may not display any behavioral problems as a result of authoritarian parenting. However, they often suffer from low self-esteem, high levels of depression and have poor social skills. They have never been engaged in verbal discussions or exchanges at home and consequently tend to be awkward and nervous conversationalists. Children and adolescents from authoritarian families tend to perform moderately well in school and be uninvolved in problem behavior, but they have poorer social skills, lower self-esteem, and higher levels of depression.
On the other hand permissive parents display high level of warmth and low level of control in interaction with their children. These parents behave in no punitive, and affirmative manner to wards their children, desire and actions. In addition permissive parents have trouble saying no and setting boundaries and guidelines for their children. They tend to be lenient and avoid asserting authority, imposing control, restrictions or indeed any conformation whenever possible. Children of such parents are cheerful than authoritative parents, however they also tend to be more immature, impulsive and aggressive. Moreover they are poor in schooling, have low self esteem and self reliance, are anxious, immature, lack responsibility and lack self control. These children are bored and lack drive. Children with permissive parent may lack the direction and guidance necessary to develop appropriate oral and goals. Moreover they also show no or little initiative and spontaneity since they expect everything brought to them for their pleasure. They are self-centre and have no sense of boundaries. Adolescent of permissive parents learn that there are few boundaries and rules and that consequences are not likely to be very serious. As a result teens may have difficulty with self control and demonstrate egocentric tendencies that can interfere with proper development of peer relationship. The adolescents are more prone to engage in misconduct and drug use. When they are in trouble they simply blame others even it’s their fault.
Parenting is probably the most important public health issue facing in our society. I would say that children imitate and learn much more from their parents than most parents realize. Even the slightest behavioral misconduct is picked up by children and acted out in their own lives. Therefore, for parents should choose a parenting style that best fits how they would like their child to behave now and later when they become an adult. Parents should try and achieve a balance between having high expectations and displaying genuine affection. Only then will children be motivated from within to succeed.
Jennifer, N., & Horbury, D. F. (2001). The effects of parenting styles and childhood attachment
patterns on intimate relationships. Journal of Instructional Psychology